I’ve decided to relax and enjoy my twisted thoughts while firmly resisting any idea of putting them into action.

Seems a reasonable solution.

“Have no twisted thoughts.”

Sorry, Master Confucius, that’s all I seem to have lately.

I’ve firmly declared the boys off-limits, but their daddy is open season.

Insufficient funds. Not a very nice beginning to a new month. The direct deposit from the Fabled Pension Check didn’t arrive, not unusual when the first day of a month is a Sunday. Doesn’t make sense to me. It’s all done by computers and what do they care about Sunday?

Daddy M has been laid off from his job and is home every day, leading to all kinds of absurd notions. I wanted an elegant old age, stately even. No thoughts whatsoever about lust and lechery.

What a piece of work is man.

Landlady is back, after having taken her brood to Vegas for five days, leaving Husband behind to look after the Old Lady. Grunter was shifted to his sister for the duration and she was evidently irked enough to complain to the agency and the social workers that he isn’t being properly taken care of here.

Well ….. there seems to me a perfectly obvious solution to that, but apparently she’s not her brother’s keeper.

Outrageous woman.

I managed to get enough tobacco to last me the rest of the month. Oh don’t ask how, oh don’t ask how. If I don’t get a cigarette I tell you I must die, I tell you I must die. (Apologies to Kurt Weill, since how and die don’t rhyme like why and die.)

I did something so stupid on the fifth, I still don’t believe it.

Earlier I met Helen and MLF to see “The Last Airbender”. An AWFUL movie. How such a talented director can go that far astray amazes me. Boring.

Then the only pleasant part of the day, lunch at Dave and Buster’s. They have a new item on the menu, “make your own soft tacos”. You get four small tortillas and lots of fixings and it turns out quite delicious.

Then … alas … I went to the supermarket for the first of my monthly stock-the-cupboard visits. I was shocked by the total but managed to pay it. HELLO!? How the hell did I forget I had foodstamps???

So since then I’ve been muttering “water under the bridge”, “don’t cry over spilled milk”, etc.etc.

$37 left on this Little Payday. That’s more like it.

Alcohol dulls the brain. That’s why I have to drink. Otherwise I’d be overcome by my own brilliance.

jk, as they say, or lmao

I dreamed last night I was running for the City Council. It was election night and it seemed pretty sure I would win. OUCH. I didn’t want to win.

A couple of nights ago I dreamed I was writing a book. Someone asked me about it. I said I didn’t care if it was good as long as it made money.

Now that’s a more realistic dream.

Weirdo left a couple of weeks ago and a new client/patient has arrived. He’s fifty, rather ugly, and because of a recent stroke cannot speak, only makes grunting sounds. Poor man.

On the other hand, the Old Blind Lady can speak too well. Her invisible visitors have always been welcomed and friendly but there’s a new one who is anything but. “You f*cking black b*tch, get the f*ck out of my house” and a favorite, “kiss my ass!”. Having unfortunately seen the object in question, I can assure you that is an invitation no one would care to accept. But it doesn’t stop this visitor who returns almost every day and, worse, sometimes during the night, always to be greeted with a 10-15 minute rant containing every dirty word in the language.

The new man must think he’s landed in a madhouse.

June is bustin’ out all over …

Went to the ATM, collected proceeds from my little pension check. Bought cigarettes, paid my Internet bill, bought beer, drank beer.

Back to home territory, bought beer, candy for the 13yo, ahi poke for me.

$23 left.

Husband returned home today after two weeks in the Philippines. So much for peace and quiet in the house. He always verges on the hysterical. Actually it was four or five days before I even noticed he was gone and I didn’t ask when he was coming back.

“Albert!” he said.

“About time you came home,” I replied.

Still, I have to admit it was a very lucky day when I came to live in this weird house.