Since I’ve finally dragged myself up to UH, I suppose I should update you on my domestic situation.

Somewhat to my surprise, the arrival of Daddy M hasn’t really had any affect on my relationship with the two boys.

Oddly, they seem to be the only people in the house who know I’m “gay” (as it’s called these days) and they’re fascinated by it. But then, I’m sure I’m the only old man who pays any attention to them and even likes the same games they do.

JM, who’ll be twelve years old in May, is my first experience of a Lolita. He’s just adorable and often outrageously provocative. I keep a firm grip on my self-control button.

Daddy is neither handsome nor does he have a particularly interesting body, but like so many Filipino men I’ve met, he has a powerful sexual aura and would be, as would Husband, surprised to know some of the thoughts I have about him.

Daughter has won a major local beauty contest award but, of course, I can’t say exactly which one without blowing the anonimity of my situation. She is indeed a very pretty girl but, to my way of thinking, rather a silly lass.

Meanwhile, we have a new Old Lady and this one really is old. 84, in fact. She’s a pain in the butt. I have to hide the bowl of candy I keep filled for the boys because she will wait for me to go out for a smoke, then go into my room to steal a candy. Naturally, the boys tell me about it.

I challenged her once, said “stay out of my room!”. Landlady said, “she doesn’t understand.”

Bullshit. She understands perfectly.